I Told You So!

I'm working on a new book about all the lessons I learned as single waiting for my Boaz and as a married woman trying to be a Godly Wife... Here's an excerpt.  Feel free to leave me a comment and let me know what you think!

I Told You So!

One of the best pieces of marriage advice I got was this, “If you know your husband is wrong and you’ve tried everything you can to sway him to your way of thinking and he doesn’t yield, shut up! Then pray and stand back and duck.”  I remember laughing like a loon when the advisor shared that you had to duck because the Lord was going to smack your hubby with the truth of the situation!  And then he would see that you were right and he was, well, just a little mislead.

Since I’ve been married it’s true, there have been times where I knew I was right and Jon just wouldn’t budge, so I had to stand back, pray and let the Lord swing.  The truth of the matter is that this principle also works in reverse, there have been several times when it has been revealed that I was in the wrong and Jon was the one in the right.  Wives everywhere take heed – sometimes you just gotta listen to your husband.  But even in all the who’s right and who’s wrong scenarios that play out between a husband a wife there is another important lesson that I’ve learned.  I told you so should never be a comeback to revelation of wrongness.

There have been times I wanted to say, I told you so, not just to my husband but to others I know and love.  I think sometimes we use that phrase as a hammer to reinforce just how brilliant we think we are, I mean, after all, we were the ones who were right.  And since we were right we must be some superior being so linked up with Christ that we can discern His will for everybody else and we just have to make it known.

I told you so becomes a dirty little phrase when we use it against the ones we love the most when they’ve fallen down and can’t seem to get up.  Seriously, how dumb are we, do we really think they don’t know that we were right!?  They are sitting there mulling over the mess they made and we just have to self righteously declare we knew better all the time.  How loving is that?

Which brings me back to that great piece of advice. When we stand back and ask God to be God in someone’s life, to direct them in the right way not our way, we do need to pay attention to the outcome, we may in fact need to duck.  My husband and I are linked together in the most intimate relationship on earth as defined by the Bible, when he or I make a bad decision it rocks us both – we are one flesh. 

We are Team Bush – a 3 Chord Strand of Jon, Jesus and Me – not easily broken.  Our consequences good or bad are shared.  If a decision is made that causes the team to take a loss, strike out, or suffer, it’s not a time to be trite and flippant.  Rather, this is a time when we realize that I told you so should only be applied when Jesus steps in, fixes the mistakes, shields us from the pain, or covers up the mess.  When Jesus steps in the only I told you so used should be… I told you so, Jesus handled it and I told you so, I’ll always love you, we are team. Don’t shoot your wounded partner and a strong marriage you will make.