A Prayer for the Singles

A Prayer tor the Singles

February, the month of flowers, proposals and lots of chocolate, which as a big girl is soooo not a good thing!  As a single woman I remember running the gamut on emotions during this time of year.  There were the, I’m so depressed moments and the, I hate men moments.  Which were often followed by the, I don’t care if I’m alone moments, the I’m so jealous I can turn green moments and the moment that signifies you’ve made your peace with Christ,  I’m just gonna hang out with my girls cause I’m alone and I’m going to have a good time, even if I feel a little sad sometimes. 

Coming to terms with being single is easier said then done for some of us.  I don’t know if I ever came to terms with the crushing loneliness that sometimes invaded my space.  I never fully made peace with my singleness and I know that it is often preached in many singles groups – make peace and then “The One!” will show up.  But it didn’t happen like that for me.  

Instead I simply surrendered with a prayer that went – “I don’t want to be single, You know I don’t want to be single, and You desire truth from the inward part so I’m telling You that I don’t like the thought of being single all my life.  But I know You know what’s best for me, and I trust that You will do right by me. So if being single is what’s best for me, I trust You to carry me through.”

I meet Jon not long after that and we were married in less then nine months.  What was I doing when I met my husband?  I was singing – doing what I was called to do.  After 18 years of waiting I get to celebrate, but for many a dark Valentine’s Day Jesus sustained my heart.  I pray He do the same for you if you’ve been waiting for a few years or many years, if you are a widow and desire a mate, a divorcee or a new Christian.   Be about your Father’s business and let His plan unfold.

Check out my stories of singleness and being newly married in, Lessons From The Back Seat 

And in the meantime, I'm praying for and with you! If you desire a mate and have been waiting and would me to add you to my prayer list, leave me a comment or shoot me an email!

The Year of No Goals

2014… what a year of trials, valleys and rocky places, I am so thankful that I made it over with my faith and my strength in tact.  And it seems that I am not the only one who had a year that left them just a bit battered and bruised. But let’s not rehash it, let’s shake it off and move forward with our faces lifted towards the sky, standing on the promises of the Lord.

The New Year is a time to set your resolutions, personal, ministry and business goals, mapped out an in depth action plan.  Every year I toil over my personal goals, spend hours making a map, figuring out the plan, and every year I come up feeling like I fell short. I pass through the same places and feel like I’m making no difference.

But not this year… this year is the year of no goals.  I actually started talking to Jon about this several months ago sharing how depressed I felt when I hadn’t actually arrived where I thought I should arrive. 

The Bible tells us in Habakkuk 2: Then the LORD answered me and said, "Record the vision And inscribe it on tablets, That the one who reads it may run."For the vision is yet for the appointed time; It hastens toward the goal and it will not fail. Though it tarries, wait for it; For it will certainly come, it will not delay.…

Well, I’ve written my vision for 2015 – To use music and education to lift up the name of Jesus so that all men may be drawn unto Him.  I’m not setting any goals, I’m not making any elaborate plans, I am simply going to wake up each morning and ask the Lord, what would you have me do today? 

Now I’m not suggesting everyone take this approach, I think goal setting is good. Goals give focus and direction.  When accomplished they bring great motivation and personal satisfaction.  So do set your goals.  But for me, after years of not seeming to meet my personal goals, I’ve come to realize that either something is wrong with the goals I’m setting, my approach is incorrect, or my goals are simply that – my goals, not the goals that the Lord has designed for me. 

There are still projects and plans in place, don’t get me wrong.  I plan to get back to the basics, spend more time singing and leading worship as the Lord opens doors.  The new CD is coming out and I want to share that with the world.  And the new book is done to, Lessons From The Back Seat or How I Learned to Become a Wife.  But I’ve not set any goals in regards to how many books I want to sell or where I’d like to sing this year.  I’m just going to knock on doors and go through them as the Lord opens them, I going to spend more time praying and seeking Him then promoting things and I’m only going to work on projects that He nudges me to work on.  A different way to approach building a ministry for sure, but I think that if I keep the vision central in my sight – To lift Him Up, I’ll achieve greater things then what I can put down on paper.

I’m off on the adventure of a lifetime, and there will be plenty of updates, so come share in the mayhem and let’s lift up the Name of Jesus.  No goals on paper, just a desire to follow where He leads and bless those He puts me in front of.

Would Love Your Feedback!

What do you think of me not setting goals this year?  I’d love your prayers and feedback, drop me a note either via email or leave me a comment on my blog page or my Facebook page – www.facebook.com/ministryofnaima  I’d love to hear from you and I’d love your prayers!

New Book! 

Don’t forget to pick up a copy of my new book – Lessons FromThe Back Seat (Or How I Learned To Be A Wife) from Amazon!

How Can I Serve You?

Planning a women’s ministry event?  Interested in a house concert or special music for your church event?  Need a guest worship leader?  Please contact me, I’m now taking requests for bookings for 2015 and I would love to be of service to you.  Send me an email at naima@ministryofnaima.com. 

I Told You So!

I'm working on a new book about all the lessons I learned as single waiting for my Boaz and as a married woman trying to be a Godly Wife... Here's an excerpt.  Feel free to leave me a comment and let me know what you think!

I Told You So!

One of the best pieces of marriage advice I got was this, “If you know your husband is wrong and you’ve tried everything you can to sway him to your way of thinking and he doesn’t yield, shut up! Then pray and stand back and duck.”  I remember laughing like a loon when the advisor shared that you had to duck because the Lord was going to smack your hubby with the truth of the situation!  And then he would see that you were right and he was, well, just a little mislead.

Since I’ve been married it’s true, there have been times where I knew I was right and Jon just wouldn’t budge, so I had to stand back, pray and let the Lord swing.  The truth of the matter is that this principle also works in reverse, there have been several times when it has been revealed that I was in the wrong and Jon was the one in the right.  Wives everywhere take heed – sometimes you just gotta listen to your husband.  But even in all the who’s right and who’s wrong scenarios that play out between a husband a wife there is another important lesson that I’ve learned.  I told you so should never be a comeback to revelation of wrongness.

There have been times I wanted to say, I told you so, not just to my husband but to others I know and love.  I think sometimes we use that phrase as a hammer to reinforce just how brilliant we think we are, I mean, after all, we were the ones who were right.  And since we were right we must be some superior being so linked up with Christ that we can discern His will for everybody else and we just have to make it known.

I told you so becomes a dirty little phrase when we use it against the ones we love the most when they’ve fallen down and can’t seem to get up.  Seriously, how dumb are we, do we really think they don’t know that we were right!?  They are sitting there mulling over the mess they made and we just have to self righteously declare we knew better all the time.  How loving is that?

Which brings me back to that great piece of advice. When we stand back and ask God to be God in someone’s life, to direct them in the right way not our way, we do need to pay attention to the outcome, we may in fact need to duck.  My husband and I are linked together in the most intimate relationship on earth as defined by the Bible, when he or I make a bad decision it rocks us both – we are one flesh. 

We are Team Bush – a 3 Chord Strand of Jon, Jesus and Me – not easily broken.  Our consequences good or bad are shared.  If a decision is made that causes the team to take a loss, strike out, or suffer, it’s not a time to be trite and flippant.  Rather, this is a time when we realize that I told you so should only be applied when Jesus steps in, fixes the mistakes, shields us from the pain, or covers up the mess.  When Jesus steps in the only I told you so used should be… I told you so, Jesus handled it and I told you so, I’ll always love you, we are team. Don’t shoot your wounded partner and a strong marriage you will make.  

What I Learned Waiting For Boaz, Part II

Lesson 3:

Don’t Pass a Counterfeit Bill

I’ve heard 99% of the time the counterfeit comes before the real thing.  Do not get caught up with a brother (or sister) you know is not the one for you.  Unless you’re Haggai, (if you don’t know the story read it) run quickly from those who don’t met the standards that the Lord ordains for your life.  I wasted precious time running after, praying for, mourning and desiring several men who were not ordained for me. 

If they are married to someone else, they are not the one.  If your statement of faith does not agree they are not the one. If you think you can change them, they are not the one. If they told you that you are not the one for them, believe them.  People who use counterfeit money can get in a lot of trouble. When I think of what would have happened and where I would be if I had married several other men I thought was the one I would have wound up in prison for passing bad bills.

Lesson 4: What’s Up With Your List?

Women often share with me their lists of what they are looking for in a mate.  They go over details telling me that Mr. Right has to have all of these attributes. Many of them are still waiting.  I had a list once, it included the obvious: saved, on fire, in ministry and supportive of the call on my life.  Real things that should never be compromised.  Then there was the superficial: great cook, frat boy so we could do ”Greek” stuff together, similarly educated, love to read, dress nice, be a musician/producer! And Lord don’t let him have no thug life past. And red hair, yes you read that right, red hair!

I came to understand that it was fine to have preferences, but what if those preferences were keeping me from meeting my Boaz?  So I threw the list out and prayed, Lord send me what I need, not what I think I want.  Because if you send me what I need it will be a million times better then what I think I want!  My hubby showed up not in the package I was expecting, he’s got a testimony, a serious past (but that’s his story to tell) he does cook, but he sure ain’t no red head.  But the Lord sent me the man I needed and the man I needed is the only man I’ll ever want. 

What I've Learned Being Sombody's Wife!

On our anniversary we had a great night doing on of our favorite things - $2.00 movies! Pacific Rim was so funny - one of the best "bad" movies I've seen in a while. We've been quoting the movie all morning. Although my anniversary is over I still have two more lessons I wanted to share about marriage:

Lesson Three: Submission is not always an easy thing. But a godly man makes it easier to submit. A great godly man will take into account what you have to say, allow you to make decisions as a team and then pray about it if you two can just not come into agreement. And a smart wife understands that her husband will have to give an account to the Lord over the stewardship of the home so sometimes he has to have the last say. There is no fear in this if he truly is a man after God's own heart. You won’t always agree and sometimes you’ll know your husband’s dead wrong. Submit anyway and then pray, and if you are right get out of the way and let the Lord do the work.

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” Ephesians 5:2


The last lesson and what I think it's the most important marriage lesson I learned:

Lesson Four:  Being married is a choice, a choice to live up to the commitment I made before God and before man.  In our lives, divorce is not an option that is the expectation we’ve set for ourselves and before the Lord.  I’ve learned that sometimes love is super “hot and passionate” and sometimes it is “quiet and gentle”.  But as Christ chose to die on the cross for me, I choose daily to love the husband that I have been blessed with.  And thankfully it is not a hard choice to make.

Hanging out with my husband, having date night, long talks, clarifying our communication and planning meetings are of the utmost importance.  When I’m hurt, confused, upset, joyful, I talk to my husband, I make sure he knows that he is my priority. I’ve learned to make my husband my best friend.  We don’t share our business or our tiffs with the world.  Because what I’ve learned is that true intimacy must occur physically, emotionally and spiritually.  In order for my marriage to work I have to be a reflection of Christ’s love for Jon Bush on the earth and he has been the same for me. We put Jesus first and each other second - always.   

Ecclesiastes 4 verse 12
A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

Random Life Lessons On Marriage - Lesson One

Tomorrow Jon Bush and I celebrate 3 years of marriage! I can hardly believe it. In honor of our 3 years I have compiled a list of 4 life lessons I've learned about marriage. I'll be sharing them over the next four days.

Lesson One: You can’t change anyone. Don’t ever marry someone thinking you can. And don’t spend too much time asking the Lord to change them into what you think or want them to be. (I thank the Lord I knew that coming in!) Ask the Lord to change you instead, so you can be the wife or husband you’ve been called to be. Praying together daily as a couple makes all the difference in the world. Making Christ the head of your marriage is the most important thing you can do.

Matthew 19:4-6
"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh' ? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."