A Prayer for the Singles

A Prayer tor the Singles

February, the month of flowers, proposals and lots of chocolate, which as a big girl is soooo not a good thing!  As a single woman I remember running the gamut on emotions during this time of year.  There were the, I’m so depressed moments and the, I hate men moments.  Which were often followed by the, I don’t care if I’m alone moments, the I’m so jealous I can turn green moments and the moment that signifies you’ve made your peace with Christ,  I’m just gonna hang out with my girls cause I’m alone and I’m going to have a good time, even if I feel a little sad sometimes. 

Coming to terms with being single is easier said then done for some of us.  I don’t know if I ever came to terms with the crushing loneliness that sometimes invaded my space.  I never fully made peace with my singleness and I know that it is often preached in many singles groups – make peace and then “The One!” will show up.  But it didn’t happen like that for me.  

Instead I simply surrendered with a prayer that went – “I don’t want to be single, You know I don’t want to be single, and You desire truth from the inward part so I’m telling You that I don’t like the thought of being single all my life.  But I know You know what’s best for me, and I trust that You will do right by me. So if being single is what’s best for me, I trust You to carry me through.”

I meet Jon not long after that and we were married in less then nine months.  What was I doing when I met my husband?  I was singing – doing what I was called to do.  After 18 years of waiting I get to celebrate, but for many a dark Valentine’s Day Jesus sustained my heart.  I pray He do the same for you if you’ve been waiting for a few years or many years, if you are a widow and desire a mate, a divorcee or a new Christian.   Be about your Father’s business and let His plan unfold.

Check out my stories of singleness and being newly married in, Lessons From The Back Seat 

And in the meantime, I'm praying for and with you! If you desire a mate and have been waiting and would me to add you to my prayer list, leave me a comment or shoot me an email!

I Told You So!

I'm working on a new book about all the lessons I learned as single waiting for my Boaz and as a married woman trying to be a Godly Wife... Here's an excerpt.  Feel free to leave me a comment and let me know what you think!

I Told You So!

One of the best pieces of marriage advice I got was this, “If you know your husband is wrong and you’ve tried everything you can to sway him to your way of thinking and he doesn’t yield, shut up! Then pray and stand back and duck.”  I remember laughing like a loon when the advisor shared that you had to duck because the Lord was going to smack your hubby with the truth of the situation!  And then he would see that you were right and he was, well, just a little mislead.

Since I’ve been married it’s true, there have been times where I knew I was right and Jon just wouldn’t budge, so I had to stand back, pray and let the Lord swing.  The truth of the matter is that this principle also works in reverse, there have been several times when it has been revealed that I was in the wrong and Jon was the one in the right.  Wives everywhere take heed – sometimes you just gotta listen to your husband.  But even in all the who’s right and who’s wrong scenarios that play out between a husband a wife there is another important lesson that I’ve learned.  I told you so should never be a comeback to revelation of wrongness.

There have been times I wanted to say, I told you so, not just to my husband but to others I know and love.  I think sometimes we use that phrase as a hammer to reinforce just how brilliant we think we are, I mean, after all, we were the ones who were right.  And since we were right we must be some superior being so linked up with Christ that we can discern His will for everybody else and we just have to make it known.

I told you so becomes a dirty little phrase when we use it against the ones we love the most when they’ve fallen down and can’t seem to get up.  Seriously, how dumb are we, do we really think they don’t know that we were right!?  They are sitting there mulling over the mess they made and we just have to self righteously declare we knew better all the time.  How loving is that?

Which brings me back to that great piece of advice. When we stand back and ask God to be God in someone’s life, to direct them in the right way not our way, we do need to pay attention to the outcome, we may in fact need to duck.  My husband and I are linked together in the most intimate relationship on earth as defined by the Bible, when he or I make a bad decision it rocks us both – we are one flesh. 

We are Team Bush – a 3 Chord Strand of Jon, Jesus and Me – not easily broken.  Our consequences good or bad are shared.  If a decision is made that causes the team to take a loss, strike out, or suffer, it’s not a time to be trite and flippant.  Rather, this is a time when we realize that I told you so should only be applied when Jesus steps in, fixes the mistakes, shields us from the pain, or covers up the mess.  When Jesus steps in the only I told you so used should be… I told you so, Jesus handled it and I told you so, I’ll always love you, we are team. Don’t shoot your wounded partner and a strong marriage you will make.  

Lessons I Learned While Waiting on Boaz

Lessons I Learned While Waiting on Boaz…

I was single for a long, long, long time!  And I learned many lessons while waiting for Mr. Right to appear.  I often get to minister and share with single women waiting on their husbands.  So I thought I would share with you the Life Lessons I learned while waiting to be found by my husband.

Lesson One - Tell Jesus the Truth

I often heard when I was content being single my husband would show up – just appear out of thin air.  I spent years trying to be content and feeling extremely guilty that even after much prayer, reading every singles book out there and fasting, I couldn’t find this elusive contentment.  So I decided that I would just tell Jesus this truth.  I knew that the Lord knew what was best for me and I came to understand that if I never got married then somehow that was what was best for me, even if I didn’t like it and I sure wasn’t content. 

Finally I surrendered and shared that with the Lord.  “Father”, I said, “You know I don’t want to be single, I don’t like it, I’ve been single a long time, but if I truly trust you, I know you will do what’s best for me.  And if that’s being single, then You will sustain, comfort and walk with me. True Story, I met Jon within the next year.

Lesson Two: Be About Your Father’s Business

Don’t wait to do the things that you desire to do for the Lord because you are single.  Pursue your passion, live your purpose, walk in the calling the Lord has placed on your life.  Spend your time doing two things, being about the business the Lord has called you to and becoming the best wife (or husband) you can be.  Be focused in the Lord, get your finances together, learn to communicate, clarify your needs, fast and pray – become that Proverbs 31 woman or that wise man of integrity like Boaz.   Jon and I met because I was I was doing the Lord’s work.  He booked me for a concert after finding me online while he was researching artists he wanted to book for a church event.  If I had never stepped out on faith and left my GOOD paying job at Wright State University to obey the call of God to sing His praises, I’d still be in Ohio, single…

What I've Learned Being Sombody's Wife!

On our anniversary we had a great night doing on of our favorite things - $2.00 movies! Pacific Rim was so funny - one of the best "bad" movies I've seen in a while. We've been quoting the movie all morning. Although my anniversary is over I still have two more lessons I wanted to share about marriage:

Lesson Three: Submission is not always an easy thing. But a godly man makes it easier to submit. A great godly man will take into account what you have to say, allow you to make decisions as a team and then pray about it if you two can just not come into agreement. And a smart wife understands that her husband will have to give an account to the Lord over the stewardship of the home so sometimes he has to have the last say. There is no fear in this if he truly is a man after God's own heart. You won’t always agree and sometimes you’ll know your husband’s dead wrong. Submit anyway and then pray, and if you are right get out of the way and let the Lord do the work.

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” Ephesians 5:2


The last lesson and what I think it's the most important marriage lesson I learned:

Lesson Four:  Being married is a choice, a choice to live up to the commitment I made before God and before man.  In our lives, divorce is not an option that is the expectation we’ve set for ourselves and before the Lord.  I’ve learned that sometimes love is super “hot and passionate” and sometimes it is “quiet and gentle”.  But as Christ chose to die on the cross for me, I choose daily to love the husband that I have been blessed with.  And thankfully it is not a hard choice to make.

Hanging out with my husband, having date night, long talks, clarifying our communication and planning meetings are of the utmost importance.  When I’m hurt, confused, upset, joyful, I talk to my husband, I make sure he knows that he is my priority. I’ve learned to make my husband my best friend.  We don’t share our business or our tiffs with the world.  Because what I’ve learned is that true intimacy must occur physically, emotionally and spiritually.  In order for my marriage to work I have to be a reflection of Christ’s love for Jon Bush on the earth and he has been the same for me. We put Jesus first and each other second - always.   

Ecclesiastes 4 verse 12
A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

Random Life Lessons On Marriage - Lesson One

Tomorrow Jon Bush and I celebrate 3 years of marriage! I can hardly believe it. In honor of our 3 years I have compiled a list of 4 life lessons I've learned about marriage. I'll be sharing them over the next four days.

Lesson One: You can’t change anyone. Don’t ever marry someone thinking you can. And don’t spend too much time asking the Lord to change them into what you think or want them to be. (I thank the Lord I knew that coming in!) Ask the Lord to change you instead, so you can be the wife or husband you’ve been called to be. Praying together daily as a couple makes all the difference in the world. Making Christ the head of your marriage is the most important thing you can do.

Matthew 19:4-6
"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh' ? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."