What I Learned Waiting For Boaz, Part II

Lesson 3:

Don’t Pass a Counterfeit Bill

I’ve heard 99% of the time the counterfeit comes before the real thing.  Do not get caught up with a brother (or sister) you know is not the one for you.  Unless you’re Haggai, (if you don’t know the story read it) run quickly from those who don’t met the standards that the Lord ordains for your life.  I wasted precious time running after, praying for, mourning and desiring several men who were not ordained for me. 

If they are married to someone else, they are not the one.  If your statement of faith does not agree they are not the one. If you think you can change them, they are not the one. If they told you that you are not the one for them, believe them.  People who use counterfeit money can get in a lot of trouble. When I think of what would have happened and where I would be if I had married several other men I thought was the one I would have wound up in prison for passing bad bills.

Lesson 4: What’s Up With Your List?

Women often share with me their lists of what they are looking for in a mate.  They go over details telling me that Mr. Right has to have all of these attributes. Many of them are still waiting.  I had a list once, it included the obvious: saved, on fire, in ministry and supportive of the call on my life.  Real things that should never be compromised.  Then there was the superficial: great cook, frat boy so we could do ”Greek” stuff together, similarly educated, love to read, dress nice, be a musician/producer! And Lord don’t let him have no thug life past. And red hair, yes you read that right, red hair!

I came to understand that it was fine to have preferences, but what if those preferences were keeping me from meeting my Boaz?  So I threw the list out and prayed, Lord send me what I need, not what I think I want.  Because if you send me what I need it will be a million times better then what I think I want!  My hubby showed up not in the package I was expecting, he’s got a testimony, a serious past (but that’s his story to tell) he does cook, but he sure ain’t no red head.  But the Lord sent me the man I needed and the man I needed is the only man I’ll ever want. 

Lessons I Learned While Waiting on Boaz

Lessons I Learned While Waiting on Boaz…

I was single for a long, long, long time!  And I learned many lessons while waiting for Mr. Right to appear.  I often get to minister and share with single women waiting on their husbands.  So I thought I would share with you the Life Lessons I learned while waiting to be found by my husband.

Lesson One - Tell Jesus the Truth

I often heard when I was content being single my husband would show up – just appear out of thin air.  I spent years trying to be content and feeling extremely guilty that even after much prayer, reading every singles book out there and fasting, I couldn’t find this elusive contentment.  So I decided that I would just tell Jesus this truth.  I knew that the Lord knew what was best for me and I came to understand that if I never got married then somehow that was what was best for me, even if I didn’t like it and I sure wasn’t content. 

Finally I surrendered and shared that with the Lord.  “Father”, I said, “You know I don’t want to be single, I don’t like it, I’ve been single a long time, but if I truly trust you, I know you will do what’s best for me.  And if that’s being single, then You will sustain, comfort and walk with me. True Story, I met Jon within the next year.

Lesson Two: Be About Your Father’s Business

Don’t wait to do the things that you desire to do for the Lord because you are single.  Pursue your passion, live your purpose, walk in the calling the Lord has placed on your life.  Spend your time doing two things, being about the business the Lord has called you to and becoming the best wife (or husband) you can be.  Be focused in the Lord, get your finances together, learn to communicate, clarify your needs, fast and pray – become that Proverbs 31 woman or that wise man of integrity like Boaz.   Jon and I met because I was I was doing the Lord’s work.  He booked me for a concert after finding me online while he was researching artists he wanted to book for a church event.  If I had never stepped out on faith and left my GOOD paying job at Wright State University to obey the call of God to sing His praises, I’d still be in Ohio, single…

What I've Learned Being Sombody's Wife!

On our anniversary we had a great night doing on of our favorite things - $2.00 movies! Pacific Rim was so funny - one of the best "bad" movies I've seen in a while. We've been quoting the movie all morning. Although my anniversary is over I still have two more lessons I wanted to share about marriage:

Lesson Three: Submission is not always an easy thing. But a godly man makes it easier to submit. A great godly man will take into account what you have to say, allow you to make decisions as a team and then pray about it if you two can just not come into agreement. And a smart wife understands that her husband will have to give an account to the Lord over the stewardship of the home so sometimes he has to have the last say. There is no fear in this if he truly is a man after God's own heart. You won’t always agree and sometimes you’ll know your husband’s dead wrong. Submit anyway and then pray, and if you are right get out of the way and let the Lord do the work.

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” Ephesians 5:2


The last lesson and what I think it's the most important marriage lesson I learned:

Lesson Four:  Being married is a choice, a choice to live up to the commitment I made before God and before man.  In our lives, divorce is not an option that is the expectation we’ve set for ourselves and before the Lord.  I’ve learned that sometimes love is super “hot and passionate” and sometimes it is “quiet and gentle”.  But as Christ chose to die on the cross for me, I choose daily to love the husband that I have been blessed with.  And thankfully it is not a hard choice to make.

Hanging out with my husband, having date night, long talks, clarifying our communication and planning meetings are of the utmost importance.  When I’m hurt, confused, upset, joyful, I talk to my husband, I make sure he knows that he is my priority. I’ve learned to make my husband my best friend.  We don’t share our business or our tiffs with the world.  Because what I’ve learned is that true intimacy must occur physically, emotionally and spiritually.  In order for my marriage to work I have to be a reflection of Christ’s love for Jon Bush on the earth and he has been the same for me. We put Jesus first and each other second - always.   

Ecclesiastes 4 verse 12
A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

3 Years and Counting - Lesson Two on Marriage

It's my 3 year Anniversary!  And I think it's no secret that I prefer Jon Bush above all others.  I love him, but most importantly I pray daily for him and for our marriage.  So here is the 2nd thing I've learned since I've gotten married:

Lesson Two: Although you can’t change anyone, you should always pray that your spouse becomes the man or woman of God they are destined to be.  Cover their weaknesses, fears, hopes and dreams in prayer with the Lord.  Show your love through your actions and try to do the things that bring joy to your spouse’s life. If you are faithful and build up your spouse with your words, your actions and with your prayers, the Lord will do a great work in your spouse’s life.  Speak life, speak truth in love, confirm and affirm your desire for your mate, forgive quickly and let go of the past.

Romans 12 Verse 10
Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.

Random Life Lessons On Marriage - Lesson One

Tomorrow Jon Bush and I celebrate 3 years of marriage! I can hardly believe it. In honor of our 3 years I have compiled a list of 4 life lessons I've learned about marriage. I'll be sharing them over the next four days.

Lesson One: You can’t change anyone. Don’t ever marry someone thinking you can. And don’t spend too much time asking the Lord to change them into what you think or want them to be. (I thank the Lord I knew that coming in!) Ask the Lord to change you instead, so you can be the wife or husband you’ve been called to be. Praying together daily as a couple makes all the difference in the world. Making Christ the head of your marriage is the most important thing you can do.

Matthew 19:4-6
"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh' ? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."